Tooth Fairy Madness

By Rachel Johnson

My five-year old daughter, Alaina, just bit into an apple and lost her first baby tooth. I'm happy for her growth and excitement. At the same time, I am surprised to feel so sad. I don't have a baby anymore and I feel a deep sense of loss. It's all happened so fast. Her first five years are over. Time moves on, and we all go forward, yet it seems so unfair. I'm not ready. I want to rebel and stick that baby tooth back in. Can't it hang by a thread for just a while longer?

I didn't even have time to plan, to mourn. Half an hour ago, Laina said, "My tooth hurts." I looked in her mouth to see a bottom baby tooth hanging askew. We teased her and helped her prepare, as I wailed to myself inside "NO! STOP! NOT YET!" She wanted it to come out so she could put it under her pillow for money from the Tooth Fairy (I guess she still has some innocence left) so we told her about the apple trick. Sure, enough, one bite of a Red Delicious and goodbye babyhood.

She held the tiny tooth in the palm of her hand and looked at it in shocked wonder. We carried her to the mirror so she could see her new look, new smile -- her new self. Unsure but happy, she smiled. Gone is the perfect row of tiny baby teeth. Now a gap sits on the bottom row, and she looks older somehow, as if the Tooth Fairy sucked the babyishness away from her to replace it with a big girl look. PLUCK! My baby one second and a little girl the next.

Laina put her tooth in a baggie and showed it off to all of us. She pranced around the room flashing big grins so we'd comment on her missing tooth and contemplated whether or not she wanted the tooth fairy to take her tooth. I felt proud of her yet sad that her smile has forever changed. Soon, she placed the tooth under her pillow and fell asleep.

Now I'm left to my own thoughts and feelings. They say the first five years are the most important, most formative years of our lives. Did I do the right things for her during her first five years? Have I planted healthful, positive, happy seeds? Did I give her the time and attention she needed? Why are my babies growing up so quickly? What can I do tomorrow? What can I do right now to prepare myself for my children growing up? I really don't want to waste any of the precious time I have with them. To love them. Cherish them. Not miss a minute of their wonderful years. Turn off the TV, put down the book, leave the dishes in the sink and simply talk and play with them.

I'll mourn each rite of passage my children go through, especially since this is my youngest, and probably my last child. But from now on, I resolve to look with peace towards the future and to live the moment that is now.


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Copyright 2004 Rachel Johnson

Rachel Johnson writes poetry, children's stories, and narratives. She also teaches English as a second language, tutors online and homeschools her two daughters. She loves to read, explore nature, and train for marathons. Rachel lives with her husband and children in Kansas City, Missouri. Visit her at:
Wake Up Running.

Swinging with Lexi (a poem)

By Rachel Johnson

Having fun
as toes touch the sun;

flying through the sky
like an eagle up high;

side-by-side
on wooden swings we ride.

The wind twirls our hair out of place,
while rays of sun splash our face.

Laughter erupts
as eyes twinkle.

Free. Happy. Radiant.
Bursting with joy!

I'm sharing it with you
as you show me

how to play.
I'd forgotten.

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Copyright 2003 Rachel Johnson